Mike O

Backbiter - Blimey, he really does hate the Welsh, doesn't he?!!! Even I could find the MS when I last went there - wish I hadn't though, it was May 2002.

Following on from Loz's great lyrics quiz, here's another set of teasers to get you scratching your heads. Who / what links the following? 1. Annie Lennox / Ian Hunter / Paul Rogers 2. An ape / a girl with a gun (a big one!) / more apes 3. Maggie / Matt / Mary 4. The Bees / The Bee Gees 5. A Bear / A Teardrop Vox Mk III guitar 6. Lone Justice / Love 7. Stan / Rene / John 8. Brian Ferry / Stuart Goddard / Hazel O'Connor 9. Nick Simper / Rod Evans / Don Airey 10. Rod Stewart / Pet Clark / The Stones. All dead easy. No answers in dribs and drabs, and put your name at the top of the paper...

I'd just like to state that I think we haven't got a hope in hell of catching United. But it's going to be fun watching us try. As for the CL, bring it on!

At the risk of incurring the wrath of these boards, I'd like to offer a few words in defence of the piece 1. It's called 'My Perfect Weekend'. It is therefore clearly labeled 'opinion' and not 'fact'. It is not bad journalism, it is opinion. People are allowed different opinions - deal with it It muses that... 2. Chelsea have 'money'. That's true, we do. 3. Chelsea suffer from 'intemperance'. Meaning, according to my dictionary, that our actions / reactions are too extreme and uncontrolled. Well, leaving aside that JM years of deliberately haranguing refs on and off the pitch, the 'I can do anything I want' behaviour of Kenyon etc etc, may I offer Dorset's post herein as a classic piece of over-reaction which ironically underlines the point? 4. Chelsea are 'impatient'. 5 managers in 5 years, whichever way you cut it, upholds this. A lot. 5. Chelsea are 'vulgar'. Peter Kenyon, Peter Kenyon, Peter Kenyon. It's not just having money, it's using it like petulant a 3 year old who wants everything NOW. 6. Villa are 'aiming for stability, sanity and good management on the financial and the footballing side'. Seriously, can anyone disagree with this? We don't have to read stuff like this if we don't want to, and we don't have to agree with any of it. But we do have to recognise that the way our club has being behaving over the last few years leaves us wide open to this sort of opinion. Stroll on...

Let your education begin, young man

Aston Villa v Chelsea Draw 21/02/2009 12:45 GMT Arsenal v Sunderland 21/02/2009 15:00 GMT Bolton v West Ham 21/02/2009 15:00 GMT Middlesbrough v Wigan 21/02/2009 15:00 GMT Stoke v Portsmouth 21/02/2009 15:00 GMT Manchester United v Blackburn 21/02/2009 17:30 GMT Fulham v West Bromwich Draw 22/02/2009 13:30 GMT Liverpool v Manchester City Draw 22/02/2009 15:00 GMT Newcastle v Everton 22/02/2009 16:00 GMT Hull v Tottenham Draw 23/02/2009 20:00 GMT

Sexelk seems like a nice feller but I can honestly say that I've never encountered a man with such awful taste in music... Bon Jovi, Power Ballads, Smiths-hater.... I bet he's never even heard of the Mighty Lemon Drops!

A 2min 50 sec video of ball skills, but did anyone actually see him: 1. Score any goals (NO!) 2. Save any goals (NO!) 3. Set up any goals (NO!) 4. Put in any decent tackles (NO!) 5. Look like he was part of a team (NO!) Keep him away from us....

I've just wet myself...

Carla Bruni?

4 Bon Jovi tracks? 4? '1 track per artist'????? Still, at least you kept away from 'power ballads'.

This Saturday saw the mighty Kingstonian FC visit one of their closest rivals at the top of the Ryman Div 1 table, namely The Met Police. The end result was 2-2 with the K's getting both their goals from the penalty spot. However, the highlight of the match was the enthusiastic debut of a new song in support of the K's midfield maestro as he ran rings around The Plod... 'We've got Tommy Williams You just shoot Brazilians'. Priceless

Rescue Me - Fontella Bass Try a Little Tenderness - Otis Reding Tempted - Squeeze Strange Town - The Jam Sign of The Times - Prince Is It Cos I'm Cool? - Mousse T Get up Offa That Thing - James Brown The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face - Roberta Flack Tired of Being Alone - Al Green Lets Spend The night Together - The Rolling Stones And about 50 Beatles tracks...

I'm with DKW, let's have a reality check people. The whole point of getting someone like Hiddink in is that here is a manager who is proven at turning a collection of nobodies into a fantastic team (i.e. S. Korea). He, at the very least, should be able to put an XI on the field out of what we've already got, who can actually play together and get results. I'm always bemused about the calls to pay through the nose to get a new manager and then give him millions to build a team. Christ, we can all pick a fave XI. Decent managers get results out of what they've been given, not what they ideally want.

Worringly, I find myself agreeing with every word of the above. The guy was clueless. For the record, I'd like to state: 1. All this guff about us having an ageing squad is crap. For one, the players we have, with the right motivation and in the right formation would still be world-beaters. For two, there are enough young exciting players waiting in the wings to make that problem disappear. 2. The only person in my books who should take over in the short and long-term is Steve Clarke. Sod the 'he's never been the main man' argument. Most of us believe last year's team was his. Most of those guys would jump through hoops of fire for Clarkey. 3. Now that the appointment of Phil has been recognised as a massive mistake, why don't the people who employed him get the boot as well? I've never understood the safety of the board in such circumstances (particularly when the financial implications are so huge). 4. Last year, after Grant's dismissal, I got rounded on on these boards for describing the club as a joke. After much debate, we agreed it was a 'circus', not a 'joke'. Can we finally agree that 'joke' does apply after all?

Manchester City v Middlesbrough Draw 07/02/2009 12:45 GMT Blackburn v Aston Villa Draw 07/02/2009 15:00 GMT Chelsea v Hull Draw 07/02/2009 15:00 GMT Everton v Bolton Draw 07/02/2009 15:00 GMT Sunderland v Stoke Draw 07/02/2009 15:00 GMT West Bromwich v Newcastle Draw 07/02/2009 15:00 GMT Wigan v Fulham Draw 07/02/2009 15:00 GMT Portsmouth v Liverpool Draw 07/02/2009 17:30 GMT Tottenham v Arsenal Draw 08/02/2009 13:30 GMT West Ham v Manchester United Draw 08/02/2009 16:00 GMT I'm not taking the piss, I've been doing this for 20 years and never in my life have I seen such opportunity for 10 draws. Well, anything over 5 will lift me in the rankings anyway...

I suffered as well last night. The only thing that could have made it worse would have ben a cut back from the ad break to a Liverpool goal. ITV are a complete joke. Their biggest problem is that they feel they have to spend the entire game selling you the match - lots of 'who knows, this could explode into the stuff of legends?' when in fact it's one of the worst games ever etc

I feel the same way I did with Claudio. Nice enough bloke but should he be replaced with an O'Neill, a Moyes or even a Brown, it would take the new guy a few seconds to sort out the problems. 1. Make sure everyone, and I mean everyone, knows that he's playing for his place every week 2. Up the training levels 3. Play a formation you want to play, not one you've inherited 4. Get the kids in 5. Make some big name sacrifices (bye bye Ballack). 6. Do whatever it takes to create a team spirit again Avram must be spending this season spitting venom at the telly when he sees us...

Same goes for me I'm afraid, so here's my 2 cents. 1. Red card. Let's just accept the fact that the game is corrupt at the top level. There is no good reason on Earth why a video ref couldn't be employed to sort out what amount to multi-million pound decisions unless the powers want the game to be coruptible. End of. 2. Ranieri was a complete clown but his team played something amounting to football (attacking etc - NB this comment does not allow for the Joka). Mourinho was a genius but his latter team played some of the most boring football known to man. Now we have a clown whose team play some of the worst football witnessed at any level. Brilliant. 3. All this 5 men across the middle of the park. Only when Lamps got sent off did we actually look more fluent and attacking. 5 does not work. 4. I'd lose Maloda, Kalou, Mikel, Bosingwa in a heartbeat. Anelka is a proven striker who's CV will say in future years that he ended up at Chelsea in exactly the worst thought-through team to suit his needs. Drogba can sod off as well. 5. Let's go back to 442 asap. Let's try a fit Joe in centre midfield with Lamps. Let's make Stoch a permament right midfielder. Let's start Di Santos. Let's put Scotty on the left. Let's play the same sort of formation as most of history's best ever teams have employed. 6. Can we give Alex and JT something akin to pats on the back. Despite losing Torres for the goal, I tought Alex was our best player by a country mile. Those two deserve better. 7. Now f**k the Mancs and the Scouse scum. Come on the Villa.

I'm thinking he could be the first professional player to don a mask when on the pitch. Not only would this be a good move in not scaring the kids but it could also become a new profitable line in the Megastore. I think a 'Kendo Nagasaki' style thang could be the ticket

You could still get David Hopkin back to train the youth...

You always have to weigh his talent up against his looks. He is perhaps the ugliest man to ever make it big in football. I'm not sure that would sit well with our brand.... ;)

It gets worse if you look at Drogba's shooting that afternoon... Fantastic resource though!

1. Billy (Michael Crawford starred in this in the mid 70's and it was genius, based on Billy Liar) 2. Oliver! 3. Guys and Dolls (I was in it) 4. Rocky Horror 5. Porgy and Bess 6. West Side Story 7. South Pacific 8. Grease (I was in it) 9. Bye Bye Birdie 10. Chicago (I was in it)

Is your real name is QFZFLL?