thebluekid

Maths isn’t my strong point!

Everyone’s been raving about his performance today… Who the f**k is he gonna pass the ball to at Chelsea? Sterling? Probably the only one who is any decent at being a direct forward? It ain’t gonna be The Lion or Mount, both of which are not forwards in any essence of the word; they have been forced in to a forward role based purely on the fact all our other attacking players have been sh*te. Yeh, sign De Jong, he will be amazing at passing the ball to the yards of air ahead of him when he gets on bored with our boring, monotonous, bland style of football.

How do you know all the add ons take it up to £150m? We spunked nearly £100mil alone on a massive waste of air last season. This post absolutely stinks of jealousy. You’re going off what you’ve read online but probably don’t have a clue. Haaland chose City because it was always going to be his next move. We’ve spent more money than City have and haven’t won a league title for nearly a decade; we can’t be having sly pops at rumoured transfer fees.

Erling Haaland and Kevin De Bruyne are probably going to be very unfair on the rest of world football. We have got absolutely no chance of beating these lot to a league title until Pep goes and his golden boys (namely KDB) start to drop a bit of form.

We could be out there for the next f**king 4 weeks and hopefully by the 28th day we’d be able to create a chance when the wind blows the ball over the line because they’ve all died of exhaustion. Our attacking play has been an absolute shambles for quite some time now. One good game every 20 games when it clicks.

I think the tide is turning…. A lot will rest on the next few weeks. If we manage to sign Fofana and another, we have some serious depth. However, are they good enough to sustain a challenge? There have been a couple of remarks regarding goals; I’m worried about a lack of firepower but if the team fires on all cylinders and we keep injuries at bay, 8-12 goal contributions by a handful of our forward players will make it a less daunting prospect.

They’re all having a meltdown on redcafe, it’s f**king hilarious. They’ve all turned in to sports journalists and experts in tomfoolery by the looks of it; apparently it’s all a big PLOY. Funny as f**k. I don’t dislike Man United because above all, they’ve been a massive part of my childhood (even if they were the bad guys at one point); however, can’t help but find it funny that they have a thread on a forum over 1000 pages long belonging to a fcuking rumour… Only for him to end up at Barca or join Chelsea.

Mean no disrespect to Crouchy either, I’d be having him over The Lion any day of the week

Update: Feeling a little less grim now the prospect of Cucerella and Fofana have been thrown on us. We still need a solid creative attacker or a proper false 9 kind onion bagger; no f**king chance we get anywhere going in to the season with the German Peter Crouch as our frontman. May as well start calling Havertz ‘The Lion’, not because he’s a fierce warrior either… Because all he does is stroll around with his head held high f**king yawning. Would fit right in after a hard day sat on your arse in the Savanna.

I’ve had the cold shower, it’s had no positive effect coco

Hahahaha, dreamland!!!! Both the money and winning the league!

I tell you what, I’ll do it at £25. Why half the amount you may ask?! Blame the current sh*tshow of affairs going on in the UK at the moment.

I don’t know. Honest answer. I replied and then had my doubts. I’d put him up there, I think he will genuinely nab a 25 goal season this year. He’s hitting a peak and Arsenal seem to be creating chances and finding their feet.

Poundland version?! Hahahahaha. Great joke.

I think we are in for a shambles of a season. Seeing as I’m the most negative poster on here, here are a few:- Completely shelling any confidence in Timo last year by picking a fat, useless door stop over him has now cost us 25 goal contributions a season; Thiago Silva might get found out this season as, although he’s a bloody legend, how long can he keep this up? We have an attack that can’t hit a barn door; Signed a winger who is coming from a team that could pick a pass akin to a needle in a haystack… In to a team that couldn’t find water if they fell out of a boat; No defensive midfielder and Kanye on his absolute last legs as a player now; Chilwell coming back from one of the most demanding injuries in the world of sport to the most demanding role in the world of football. Yeh, it’s grim. Not predicting any higher than 5th.

Definitely not the most negative, I’m up there but can’t take that award; I can confirm though, I am a fan.

New season in a week, lots of failed signings, still no sign at all of adding QUALITY where we need it? We’re looking a bit of a laughing stock in world football at the moment aren’t we. Tuchey can’t be a happy man. Sorry it’s a right moan but I’ve stayed off the site all week and just needed a last minute vent of frustrations at ridiculously high expectation that we’re in for a good season turning to sh*t. Discuss!

If anything, as Sindre said, it’s got f**k all on TT and everything on the players who just should not be anywhere near this level

I’ve lost it with this team. I am done. At least when we were not an oligarch’s plaything years ago we didn’t expect success; now we do and can’t because we have a team full of c**ts.

I’m not sure he does anymore you know…

It is true though. We’ve spent nearly a £billion and on what? A shower of sh*t. Chopping managers every two seconds and investing in a bunch of sh*tc**ts. Mount and James aside none of those out there would have donned a poster in my room growing up and that says a lot. Club is gone from that upper tier. Save yourself the depression and go support your proper local team.

In other news KDB-Haaland-Grealish linking up like they’ve been together for years. Pep magic dust being sprinkled on to that City XI. What a f**king team they have assembled. If they get their acts together they have to put out for Europe this year surely? Haaland hits the ground running and it is good night Irene for the rest as they are in their f**king pomp old boy let me tell ya.

All of this f**king horse sh*t about it being ‘pre season’ and ‘oh the levels are off’. f**king hell it’s not like we’re talking about a bunch of couch to 5k potato’s who get out of breathe going up a flight of steps. They’ve been away from the game for a few weeks and in that time have had exceptional conditioning and training; private chefs feeding them nothing but the best; access to the finest sports science in the world. They’re athletes at the highest level; not trying to shave .001 off a 100m sprint. They’re just sh*te, end of. I just hate that the expectation of what Chelsea are to us fans is so bloated by our last successes. Ladies and Gentlemen we are not the Chelsea of old anymore and the reality of it is painful.

Tuchel, the greatest manager in the world… Yawn.

Hey Todd Boehly, if you’re watching, it’s probably a bit too late now, but…. next summer we need to do something about our midfield and attack! It’s okay though, you just spend another couple of weeks fighting for the signature of a centre back that’s going to produce more fail videos than Bakayoko. Honestly this f**king club. The fall from grace we have had since last winning the league is nothing short of shambolic. Okay we’ve fluked a CL win in that time but to have fallen so badly with such astronomical amounts spent is laughable. Everyone praised Roman and his empire but truth be told the whole running of this club has been a f**king sh*tshow for a decade coming on now. It’s going to take years to build back up. We laugh at United, Arsenal and Spurs season on season and just assume we will finish ahead of them but I mark my f**king paper that they will all finish ahead of this current Chelsea side next season. Yes it’s only a pre season game but the signs were there last year.