Drogba11CFC

You just know they'll raise their game for us. Meaning it'll only be 3-0 rather than 4-0.

Or Slippy the Kangaroo

Steve Gerrard Gerrard, He slipped on his f**king arse, He gave it to Demba Ba, Steve Gerrard Gerrard

It was so good to see Patrick Collins sticking the boot into Rio for a change.

I'd have loved to see his face when Hazards penalty went in, probably like a toddler in Poundland that's just been told he can't have a giant bag of sweets.

Let's not forget how The Fighting Cock had an entire thread dedicated to making death threats against the players and fans because we won the CL.

Some good news in that Chris Foy won't be anywhere near the game. Mike Jones will be the referee.

I suspect it may have been the taxman Frisk ran from, what with his €400 fake tans and hairdos. The schoolkid ended up being a smokescreen. She may also have received quite a lot of grief from the Barca mafia. Knowing Dowd, he probably tried to ring Domino's/Golden Sun Takeaway/The Delhi Belly Curry House and got the wrong number.

Costa fit to play apparently. He'll tear Rio a new one and we'll see "KKKosta" headlines all over the Sun on Monday.

Mail says we'll line up as follows: Cech Ake Cahill Zouma Luis Baker Mikel Ramires Oscar Salah Schurrle

Cech; Ake, Zouma, Terry, Luis; Baker, Matic/Ramires/Mikel; Salah, Brown, Schurrle; Solanke

He probably has four pints before each game (and another four at half time) before thinking about his post-match takeaway from the Delhi Belly Curry House.

Coming up from Winchester has yielded a few instances... Brentford 12/13: diverted to Paddington due to engineering works at Fleet. Southampton 13/14: Diverted via Staines, and to add insult to injury, the Hounslow loop due to engineering works at Wimbledon. Steaua Bucharest 13/14: No delays to speak of, but on the way back some woman's dog shat in my carriage. Everton 13/14: South West Trains were running a £10 return deal. A combination of human Tetris and door failures saw me barely arrive in time for kickoff. I opted for a bus back to Waterloo, and the driver chucked everyone off at Sloane Square. For some reason, I took the next bus rather than get on the tube. Aston Villa 14/15: Not as bad as other examples, but engineering works on the district line made me go back to Waterloo via Clapham Junction.

That's not Fellaini...

Really? I normally switch off when Dave Spart and those of his ilk start spouting (something I learned from 6th form), but I'll say this. Back in my day, when you wanted to get your 15 minutes of fame on telly, you conjured up a good sob story and went on The X Factor.

Mine is 138. The intelligence of 138 Rio Ferdinands, 69 Joey Bartons, 23 Stan Collymores and 138,000 Scouse keyboard warriors.

I can see this coming... 01/11/14: Chelsea 10-0 QPR (Costa x4, Remy x2, Hazard x2, Fabregas, Terry) Sun Headline, 03/11/14: KKKosta! Rio reveals all pages 2, 4-26

We need to know which supermarket it is so we can boycott it.

They'd probably all decide that he'd brought the game into disrepute. Those solid gold Umbrian villas won't pay for themselves you know.

Let's teach Colin a lesson he'll never forget.

Despite losing 3-2, Winchester pushed their opponents all the way, missing two close-range chances and having a header cleared off the line against a team three divisions higher.

On Saturday, Winchester City travel to Concord Rangers as they play in FA Cup Q3 for the first time in 59 years.

They beat us, Fulham and Liverpool to beat the dippers to the last CL spot.

His luck against Jose will finally run out, and then (to borrow a phrase) excuses will fall from his lips like crumbs from a Greggs pastry.

Still don't see why the Bayern Munich fans couldn't attend. Surely Bayern could have been given the entire ticket allocation, all the gate receipts, burger sales etc.