PloKoon13

I'm sure I saw Emma Barnett out on the piss in Leicester city centre on Saturday. Tried giving her the eyes but I think she interpreted it as a come-on rather than intending a brief conversation along the lines of 'I wish you wouldn't interrupt your guests so much' and 'could you get Amol's autograph for me please?'

I'd say Kepa but it has been slightly mitigated by later inflicting him upon Arsenal. Makes Bobby Sánchez look like Lev Yashin.

Javier Pastore is a fitting agent for him.

Crisis? What crisis? And don't we look much better without those mutinous w**kers? And we brought on one of your precious youngsters. What's the problem? Take your pick. This post is sponsored by BlueCo: erectionlessness as a lifestyle

I wonder where that story came from

Slagging off the owners aside, it shows a criminal lack of self-awareness that the two players he [maybe sincerely] compares himself to are Modrić and f**king Toni Kroos.

So the implication is that hosting more games loses the club money? Err...

Yeah, the list is for completeness rather than a defence of BlueCo's 'strategy'. If you look at the full list (first Boehly season is here) it's a complete and total sh*tshow.

(Disclaimer: this is all from TransferMarkt, plus some of the profits are trivial) Petrović (signed for £16m, sold for £28.9m) Veiga (signed for €14m, sold for €24.5m, plus we got a €4m loan fee from Juve) Ugochukwu (signed for €27m, sold for €28.7m) Bettinelli (signed on a free, sold for €2.4m) Hutchinson (signed for €1m, sold for €23.5m) Moreira (signed on a free, sold for €8.5m) Mendy (signed for €7.6m, sold for €18.5m)

yeh takin' thuh mickeh nurr

@SydneyChelsea In a moment of serendipity which reinforces both of our points, I found this on the floor on the way to work this morning:

I'm a fan of Wilson's. I don't know that he thinks games are won on a tactics board (ignore the fact that he wrote an entire book making that basic point). He's a historian more than anything; I think his default position is a weary sigh and an interjection that the trend of the day is not a new idea and in fact originated from some guy you've never heard of in the 1960s (inevitably in the Eastern Bloc).

The most improbable part of that article is the reveal that Hodgson is an 'avid reader' of Milan Kundera. Roth, Updike, coming back to football at the age of 78, etc. I can easily believe

His value appears to be that he is Palmer's best mate: https://www.chelseafc.com/en/news/article/lifting-the-lid-with-cole-palmer

The 'keep at all costs' list is quite short - these are the guys we should be building our team around: Colwill Palmer Santos Chalobah James Caicedo Acheampong Estêvão I would also add the following 'I would prefer to keep them' players: Cucurella Pedro Jackson Maybe Hato 'Too young or haven't seen enough of them to evaluate fairly': Essugo Sarr Sharman-Lowe Penders Anselmino Plus the addendum of 'are capable of being good but also appear to be dickheads or have enormous flaws in their game which undermine the good parts': Sánchez Fernández Fofana Garnacho Everybody else we can live without or should actively be looking to chuck overboard.

What was it that made them change the rule? I can't remember, must have been a good 14 years or so ago now. Wait a minute, here it is: https://www.theguardian.com/football/2012/may/20/harry-redknapp-spurs-europa-league

I was watching Man Utd recently, and while quietly seething at Bruno Fernandes putting in yet another brilliant performance I thought 'that's who Enzo thinks he is'.

I would love to see BlueCo and their social media shills trying to defend that one. It would be the bullsh*t of legend.

For the record the horror injury Fofana experienced at Leicester was a broken leg (it was a horror tackle against Villarreal in pre-season, I saw it live). There is no reason to believe that he wouldn't make a 100% recovery from that.

Thank you schadenfreude, you have rescued my weekend.

Kepa starts for Arsenal and Anthony Taylor is nowhere to be seen. Be back in a minute, just off to the bookies.

Had no idea he was born in Vienna. Carney has switched his international allegiance to Austria.

I expect this will be lost in the (to be fair justified) deluge of misery but I thought Hato did a decent job tonight.

I'n sorry @Liam, I tried to be positive. I hope you will deem getting drunk after the game to be an acceptable substitute. Take your pick.

EXCLUSIVE: THE LATEST POEM FROM B. EGHBALI My penis it stopped working With a hundred flights to go Still some ivory steps to climb So the others cannot know I see old men like David Moyes With a baguette in their pants Is irrelevance to be my fate? Or death like Rosencrantz? I'll sign ten tattooed teenagers So they will know I'm great Despite the fact each one is bad I still can't masturbate I must disrupt the market then Be ostentatious still I'll hire morons left and right The rumour will be killed Enzo, Liam, bright young things Who'll know they're shills? As long as no one finds out I Can't f**k without a pill