Properly mugged today. Missing 3 of our 5 world class players from the start probably didn't help. Neither did their 2 world class players playing well.

Cech - 6 Most of those points due to that unbelievable save. Might have done slightly better for the first goal but no chance for the second.

Ivanovich - 5 Stuck his unfeasibly large buttocks out and shuffled around.

Terry - 7 MOM (for us obviously). Tried his heart out to get us going and dominated in the air. Also made a fair attempt to lodge his knee in Senorita Torres' neck.

Cole - 5 Looked a bit frantic on the ball and a bit frantic off the ball. In general a frantic performance. Frantic.

Alex - 4 Looked fat out there.

Ramires - 4 Looked skinny out there.

Mikel - 5 Piss poor in the first half rising to poor in the second half. Best player in the world according to Loz and should stroll the Shed End Mikel of the Match poll.

Zhirkov - 4 Only has one direction and unfortunately that direction is backwards. In fairness to him it can't be easy being 4' 11".

Kalou - Not on the pitch long enough to be rated.

Malouda - 6 Improved as the game went on particularly when he worked out what position he was in. Maybe someone who knows about football can come on and tell us what that position was.

Anelka - 6 Flittered about on the periphery of the game making the odd telling contribution. Nothing new there. The footballing equivalent of an autumn berry jus.

Drogba - 6 Let them know they were in a game and at least allowed to us to bypass our midfield which was no bad thing.

Joe Cole's Bird - 9 I'd ride her.

Joe Cole's Bird - 9 I'd ride her.

Certainly would not mind doing that

Thanks for that, Liam, I needed cheering up after this afternoon :D

dont want to be picky but Drogba and Kaulo had almost exactly the same pitch time?

dont want to be picky but Drogba and Kaulo had almost exactly the same pitch time?

It was meant to be a comment on his ineffectiveness.

Joe Cole's Bird - 9 I'd ride her.

Certainly would not mind doing that

Is there a queue ?

I'm surprised you haven't been insulted and banned for suggesting Mikel was anything other than magnificent.

I'm surprised you haven't been insulted and banned for suggesting Mikel was anything other than magnificent.

Tell me one thing. Are you on a mission trying to find faults in Mikels game just so you can "get back" on everyone that thinks Ferreira is a bad player?

Our best midfielder today, and did very well when you consider who he was together with in midfield.

Cech - 7

Ivanovic - 6

Terry - 7

Alex - 5

Cole - 5

Mikel - 7

Ramires - 3

Zhirkov - 4

Malouda - 6

Anelka - 3

Kalou - 4

Drogba - 6

Sturridge - 6

Bosingwa - 6

That will be you half time ratings will it Sindre as I thought you turned off at half time due to not seeing the Harlem Globetrotters of football in the opening 45 minutes.

That aside I agree. Mikel was the best of a bad bunch in the centre.

Fantastic read, thanks Liam

I'm surprised you haven't been insulted and banned for suggesting Mikel was anything other than magnificent.

I wanted to ban him but Loz wouldn't let me.

Tell me one thing. Are you on a mission trying to find faults in Mikels game just so you can "get back" on everyone that thinks Ferreira is a bad player?

Our best midfielder today, and did very well when you consider who he was together with in midfield.

just what on earth are you talking about?

felt sorry for Kalou getting taken off at HT. Zhirkov was much worse and we could have dropped Malouda back to cover Zhirkov and left Kalou on

Rameires is clearly struggling to settle - needs too much time on the ball but you can see the ability he has

Mikel was poor in the first half but he was getting overrun because of the inability of Zhirkov and Rameires to find a teammate. In the second half when we were the dominant team, Mikel was good I thought. Was spreading the play all over the show

Big hand for 10/10 Howard Webb though

sorry I meant 1/1000. Worst refing performance since Ovrebo. Can't count the times our players got w*nkered on the edge of the pool box and play on was waved. Cole should have had a pen when Kuyt mounted him. The defining moment of his performance was a foul called against JT on Kuyt. Both going for ball and fair enough JT was late and it was a foul but he had eyes for the ball - 2 seconds earlier Kuyt looked down and pushed Cole away from the ball and sweet F A given. Was so biased it's unreal

http://www.lucasdivestore.com/

Looks like there's some special equipment made for people who want to play "football" just like Lucas Leiva.