Karateowl

That thuggish-looking Scouser, Jim Bentley giving a post-match interview after Morecambe have dumped Wolves out! Wolves are my local club. I've got a season ticket too. I go to a lot of away games. I've looked after the baby today. Thank God!

I'm sure Mourinho will get the extra 10% out of a few players, who'll look like new signings. I think our squad is quality too, and would move up a gear with the addition of a very good striker. Rooney is my choice, he could be scintillating. I'll toss this out there too... Defoe? Even Bent could do a job... We need a finisher to put away the chances.

Drogba could do a job for us. If put him in ahead of Ba at any rate! Lukaku would refine a few things too just by watching him and playing with him.

Found out earlier he shares my birthday! And a belated fair play for nudging the ball boy's ribs; any weed can step back and leave it. Get stuck in!

I'm in. *Best Bruce Buffer voice* IT'S TIME!

He's a definite weak link. We need him for cover, but we need better. ROONEY!

He can add some muscle. Somewhere between Crouch and Akinfenwa is where to stop!

Suarez is a cult bad boy, he'd be awesome with JT's extra-marital antics and Ash's gun! Why aren't we in for him? He'd be under Jose's spell...

Is the Milan game televised anywhere?

I wonder if Mourinho will be subjected to the same pressures his predecessors were to play Torres...

That settles it Zeta, get him in! It'd be a gamble, sure, but terribly exciting, because it it works out, he could be amazing in blue!

I thought it meant 'shake my head'; a sign of disgruntlement often followed with KMT (kiss my teeth).

They seem very relaxed which is good to see. Wouldn't be surprised to see Lukaku as a starter by the end of the season. If he bulks up a bit more, so defenders bounce off him, he could be devastating.

Hazard should be maybe 88, Mata maybe 89. When special IF editions are inevitably released, surely 90s for both

Personal problems maybe but I'd take him in a heartbeat, he's a killer!

I hope we add to it, difficult to imagine a genuine title tilt without...

Vastly overrated. From the moment he somehow beat the brilliant Campbell into World Cup 2002 dream team, I've had it in for him!

Feel sorry for the fans, another example of a club moving to a bigger ground that they couldn't nearly fill. £2m a year in ground rent! Same thing happened with Darlington. West Ham next?

The app is the same, difficult to find anything worth looking at! There seems to be a lowering of the standards generally; Lineker aside, the MoTD cast is abominable!

Such a talent but doesn't seem to be anywhere near first team standard. When he was at 'Boro, it was said that he was 3 or 4 moves ahead of the rest of the squad and so it broke down, but with better players, he'd have been awesome...

When you put it that way Moi, it sounds rubbish!

He's a leader too, I could see him as captain moving forward.

I think a tight defence is crucial, if we can stack up clean sheets, we'll only need one, maybe two, to win games. Mourinho was awesome at this before! Bodes well for the future...

That's exactly it- and that, too, was awesome. Highly recommended if you can catch it.

Coach Carter. For the third time this year. If you haven't seen it, and you like that 'tough teacher turns a troubled school' gubbins, this IS the film for you.