What are the great football myths? Here are two to start you off.

Johnny Foreigner doesn't like it up and at 'im:

Given that one of the great exponents of "up and at 'im" style football was Allardyce's Bolton, a team composed almost entirely by dodgy foreign types, I think we can lay that one to rest.

There's is always one team sucked in to the relegation battle:

This happened once, in 1976 probably, but the phrase is obligatory now in any discussion of the relegation battle.

Any more?

West ham and tottenham fans insist on seeing football played the right way!

As with any of us they'd like their team to win first and foremost, if you can do that playing nice football then all the better.

Geordies and scousers are the most passionate and knowledgeable fans in the world!

They're the same as fans of any other team, you want them to win, you know what's best for them and you get the effin ump if they don't win.

Roberto Carlos is the best free kick taker in the world

Euro 96 was a fantastically organised tournament by the English

That famous Anfield atmosphere

That famous Scouse sense of humour

The fair mindedness and knowledgability of the Anfield crowd

You'll never walk alone was first recorded by Gerry & The Pacemakers

Steven Gerrard is a world class player

Steven Gerrard is a great player

Steven Gerrard is a very good player

That the Liverscum of '70s and '80s played entertaining football

That Liverscum have more istry than any other club there ever was or ever will be

That Liverscum's istry means they deserve more respeck than any other club there ever was or ever will be

That famous Anfield atmosphere

That famous Scouse sense of humour

The fair mindedness and knowledgability of the Anfield crowd

You'll never walk alone was first recorded by Gerry & The Pacemakers

Steven Gerrard is a world class player

Steven Gerrard is a great player

Steven Gerrard is a very good player

That the Liverscum of '70s and '80s played entertaining football

That Liverscum have more istry than any other club there ever was or ever will be

That Liverscum's istry means they deserve more respeck than any other club there ever was or ever will be

Anyone else spot a theme?

Ok ok, I know it's too easy

Steven Gerrard is a world class player

Steven Gerrard is a great player

Steven Gerrard is a very good player

Mmmm hmmm, right on sister.

Steven Gerrard is a world class player

Steven Gerrard is a great player

Steven Gerrard is a very good player

Mmmm hmmm, right on sister.

Are you saying my slip is showing?

Under Jose Chelsea were boring

Under Jose Chelsea only played it long to Drogba all the time

Under Jose Chelsea only won 1-0

Grant has the pedigree we've been looking for

Grant will take us to a new level

Keegan is a god

The Champions League draw is fixed/UEFA hate Chelsea

Despite all evidence to the contrary, and not one shred of evidence in support, this hoary old chestnut makes its appearance every season.

The ball crossed the line

Sheva's still class, he just needs time to settle

Here is my Top Ten...Pop Pickers!!!!

1- Frank Lampard is fat

2- John Terry is slow

3- Claudio Pizzaro is a Premiership striker...

4- Flo Malouda has a backbone.

5- Malouda and Drogba have a telepathic partnership (remember that one...)

6- Lampard and Ballack can't play together.

7- JT is not a fit England captain following our England Euros exit....

8- Keegan is a managerial messiah.

9- David Mellor is a life-long Chelsea fan.

10- Michael Essien came back from the ANC's...< I've not seen sight nor sound of him>.

I haven't seen anything yet to suggest that Lamps and Ballack can play together successfully.

Italian Football is the best in the world

The English Premiership is the best league in the world.

Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink was a great footballer?

Veron was a complete flop in the EPL because of team formations?

Mourinho is an enemy of football?

Israeli cup success equates to top flight European success.

The Highbury Roar

Dutch Team Spirit

Frank Sinclair

Arsenal embody all that's good about football.

JT's just a hardman and leader but not a talented footballer.

Chelsea have no istry.

Bonetti cost England the game in Mexico in 1970.

Liverpool do things with dignity.

Fergie never thinks the ref adds on enough time at the end of a game, unless the Manks are losing in which case not enough time is added on.

When a Mank goes down in the box it's a fair penalty, when their opposition goes down the ref was blind.

Wenger never sees an incident on the field.

England will win the next world cup.

I think I've got the winner folks......................... Tottenham are a big club?

I think I've got the winner folks......................... Tottenham are a big club?

Winner alright, winner alright.

"Running around and working up a sweat is the main attribute to being a great striker."