Damnation

I'm sorry, Syd, but to put Gerrard in the same sentence as those three, when that sentence doesn't start with "Gerrard isn't fit to clean the boots of......." is just plain wrong.

No chance. It's not like they both scored 5 and are tearing the world apart..

That will never happen!!!!
We're not playing on saturday.

no Mata OR De Bruyne in your side? wait til the press get wind of this one!

It's a 40 minute surgery and it takes about 6 months to heal. Then comes training and harder training, etc and it comes out in about 9 months. I don't think it's a career changer, but it's quite a major setback, especially for young playets. Van Nistelrooy tore his twice, and so did Frimpong as of late. He'll be back at the end of this season, probably and will be in full force for the next one.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ajl1ZYrFTXw
 
 
Neil Barnett is a legend. 

Firstly, it would never happen.
 
Secondly, if it did happen, Lampard would whack him so hard he would never come back.
 
Thirdly, he's a w**ker of the highest order.
 
Next.

Phew!  That's Rooney out then!

Not funny for four reasons ..
 
1. Ba's record is far superior, both in the Prem and the big clashes against the big teams (obviously we can't compare performances on Thursday nights against European minnows because Ba is ineligible).
 
2. Ba hasn't been with us two and a half years.
 
3. The club hasn't gone out of its way to accommodate Torres and comply with his every whim.
 
4. I haven't got a fourth reason. I was only joking.

You can obviously see his hug is not so sincere towards Nathan.

It worked for whoever invented the vibrator.

The lack of nudity in season 3 is a worry

I certainly hope not.

Carlo couldn't do it, AVB couldn't do it, RDM couldn't do it, and FSW can't do it. No-one is going to be able to do it. Torres is a lost cause and the sooner he leaves the sooner we can start to re-build and forget about the last few years of playing with 10 men whnever he's been on the pitch.

I'm going to see Tool at Rod Laver in April.

Nope, completely wrong mate. His workrate isn't all right. Far from it. Workrate only has meaning if it is productive, if it is directed to the role it is meant to be achieving.
 
Example. I could go into work tomorrow and repaint all the doors and windows. Some colleagues might say; "Woah. he worked hard today. 6 hours non-stop to do all that painting"
 
Then another might point out: "So f**king what! That's not his f**king job! He is Head of Accounts! He was supposed to be paying all our wages today!"

I'm sorry mate but I disagree in the strongest terms.
 
Torres did not do "alright", he very rarely does "alright".
 
As others have said, our expectations must have fallen beyond trace if we classify such a performance as "alright".
 
We have a centre-forward that simply does not get into scoring positions. That is not, and never will be, "alright".
 
We have a centre-forward who refuses to find a bit of space in the box and give the man in possession the opportunity to create a chance for him.
 
We have a centre-forward that is hiding for fear that a chance might come his way.
 
Watch any other centre-forward carefully. They're always pulling away from the defender or darting in front of them, trying to create that bit of space, trying to wrong-foot the defender, so that if their teammate puts that ball in exactly the right spot, they're there for it. These are how goals are scored.
 
Watch what Sturridge does for the first goal ..
 
 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ByOiMM3Bxe8
 
 
Did you see that? He peeled away, he ran towards the back stick, away from the defender, giving his teammate something to aim at, because he wants the ball to come to him so he can score. It's the movement I'm talking about, ignore the rest. You will never see Torres do that. He runs towards the defender, he stays as close to him as possible, he doesn't anticipate and he stays on his heels. Every single time. He's hiding and it's a cardinal sin. Loss of form is one thing, all players suffer from it, hiding is quite another. I have never seen a player hide in the way Torres does and by no stretch of the imagination is it "alright". Mata, Hazard, Oscar and Moses are class players. They will create for fun, if you let them. Torres does not let them. Look at the difference when Ba is in the side. Even yesterday, he ran on to a Lampard through ball because he was looking for it, he was playing off the shoulder, anticipating the pass, and he nearly scored and should have got a penalty. That pass is seldom on for Lampard when Torres plays. Yesterday we were winning 2-1 and Newcastle were coming at us, leaving gaps in behind, gaps a centre-forward could exploit. Lampard never had the option to hit that pass, nor did Mata or anyone else. He plays for Chelsea, he earns 175k a week, he cost £50m, we sold Drogba, Kalou, Anelka, Sturridge (all of whom are far better), we have Lukaku out on loan, we sacked 3 good managers and we appointed a w**ker to try and get the best out of him, ripping out the heart of our club in the process, and you're telling me that performance yesterday was "alright"? Not once, in over 45 minutes of football, does he get into a scoring position or even remotely look like a threat and you're telling me that's "alright"? That's not "alright" mate. It's nothing of the sort. He's a centre-forward. He's supposed to get on the end of things. That's his job. Did you ever think he was going to get on the end of something yesterday? Not for a second. The thought didn't even occur to you.
 
Not digging you out, as I've said, I'm just dismayed that anyone can accept that from our centre-forward, on such a regular basis. Ba may not be the greatest in the world but at least he understands how to do his job.

I heard he beats his maid every time he puts in a top-notch performance.
 
She's very happy in her job, thank you very much.

Newcastle are no longer a wee club. They have become a 'oui' club.

LOL
 
What's the lottery numbers mate?

Without a shadow of a doubt.

His best game in a Chelsea shirt. MOTM!

Very good questions Chippy. Uefa's rules are quite clear on this.
 
If we're playing away and you turn up at home, Barcelona win.
 
If you take a tent to an away game, Barcelona win.
 
If the tie ends in a tie, Barcelona win.
 
If the game doesn't end in a draw, whoever wins wins, as long as it's Barcelona.
 
Hope that clears that up.

Sorry to jump in on this Davey but let me get this right...
 
 
I f I turn up at a Home game when we are playing Away, will I miss the game?
 
If I go to an Away Game and take my Tent, will it then be a Home Game?
 
If the Tie ends in a Tie, what Colour Tie would the Interim wear?
 
If the Game doesn't end in a Draw, can I still put the match program in the Drawer
 
Thanks in advance

Isn't that like "my favourite limb to be amputated"...?