Gem Posted January 13, 2010 Share Posted January 13, 2010 The "good Chelsea relations" thread has made me think, which Premier League player/manager would be each family member? The smelly scum bag who doesn't work and gives it all the time (with anything to back it up) - Jamie Carragher The old granddad who constantly piss (literally) and moans and has arguments to himself - Alex Ferguson The uncle you remember taking a shower with, and at the time it was okay... but now you're not so sure -Arsene Wenger The baby - Robinho The one who's slightly crazy, but you love him (although you don't admit it) - Stephen Ireland The long lost relative who goes missing months on end then shows up and makes it all about him - Steven Gerrard. The one you hope is adopted coz of the ugly gene - Wayne Rooney The one you hope is adopted coz he's just so damn FINE - Frank Lampard The boring one who no one remembers how they're related to him - Tony Hibbert Any more? PS- Loz/Mod, move this if you think it's better off somewhere else ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bjd Posted January 13, 2010 Share Posted January 13, 2010 The pervy old Uncle....Avram Grant Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Epic Posted January 13, 2010 Share Posted January 13, 2010 The older cousin you call when you're having a bit of trouble with some cvnt - Essien Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalpitv Posted January 13, 2010 Share Posted January 13, 2010 The naughty child - Darren Fletcher The butlers - Harry Redknapp and Rafael Benitez The spoilt teenager - Wayne Rooney A nice topic to start Gem. I am going to be here whenever I get bored. ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rahul Posted January 13, 2010 Share Posted January 13, 2010 Might I mention the neighbors. The Voyeur - You know who Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gem Posted January 13, 2010 Author Share Posted January 13, 2010 The one who always starts a handbag slapfest - Darren Fletcher. The one who you try to convince to come out to the rest of the family - Fernando Torres. The dog - Dirk Kuyt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liam Posted January 13, 2010 Share Posted January 13, 2010 Your sister's latest boyfriend who invites you all over to his house just so he can show off his new decking - Phil Brown The uncle who is always just that little bit over familiar, seems harmless enough if a bit pleased with himself, and smiles all the time as he's talking - Graham Taylor Your second cousin, the one who had the sex change - Mark Lawrenson Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
just Posted January 13, 2010 Share Posted January 13, 2010 The little gobby bloke who always kicks it off in the boozer but is nowhere to be seen when the fists start being thrown.................... Steven Hunt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
just Posted January 14, 2010 Share Posted January 14, 2010 That mental kid at school with mad eyes and no friends, who eventually gets expelled for stabbing the Maths teacher with a compass.................. Roy Keane Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
loz Posted January 14, 2010 Share Posted January 14, 2010 The eccentric 7.5 stone man you see walking around the town centre smiling broadly and talking intelligibly to strangers before patting them on the back and walking on - Claudio Ranieri The bloke in oversized clothing flogging fags in a night club even though he has a well paid job in advertising - Harry Redknapp The big brother you look to for inspiration until he comes home in tears because Debbie McGrew gave him a wedgie - Didier Drogba Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bjd Posted January 14, 2010 Share Posted January 14, 2010 The little gobby bloke who always kicks it off in the boozer but is nowhere to be seen when the fists start being thrown.................... Steven Hunt ...or Craig Bellamy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
just Posted January 14, 2010 Share Posted January 14, 2010 That slapper of a cousin you see at family weddings who puts her make-up on with a trowel and thinks showing you her Burberry thong is classy.............. Katie Price Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
loz Posted January 14, 2010 Share Posted January 14, 2010 Since we are moving beyond football.... The cousin who tells a joke and feels the need to put on a stupid smirk to convince you an unfunny joke was actually funny - Jimmy Carr Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cooke Posted January 15, 2010 Share Posted January 15, 2010 the distant uncle who is doing well for himself. But looks down on everybody.....Simon Cowell Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueBeard Posted January 15, 2010 Share Posted January 15, 2010 Back to football... The old father who just doesn't understand the youth of today - Graham Taylor The highly strung nutcase older brother - Martin O'Neill The totally mental triplets - Joey Barton, Lee Bowyer & Craig Bellamy The slutty tart sister who wears far too much make-up - Ronaldo The pushy younger sister - Fernando Torres The useless uncle, unable to get anything right - Rafa Benitez Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
geezer Posted January 15, 2010 Share Posted January 15, 2010 The Uncle who spends a lot of time driving slowly by the kerbside - David Pleat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nibs Posted January 15, 2010 Share Posted January 15, 2010 The Auntie who at family gatherings always ending up having one too many sherrys and then starts getting embarrassing - Delia Smith. The other fitter Auntie who you look forward to baby-sitting you and then when you turn that bit older, becomes the subject of your teenage w**k-fest - Karen Brady. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cooke Posted January 15, 2010 Share Posted January 15, 2010 the strange looking uncle who you smile and nod to but cant make out a word ..Tony Mowbray the whole gypsie camp about two miles from me ..Parkhead or celtic park Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Epic Posted January 15, 2010 Share Posted January 15, 2010 The good for nothing cousin you wish you were never related to - Kalou Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lauren Posted January 15, 2010 Share Posted January 15, 2010 the wide boy uncle who sells second hand cars or whatever he can buy cheap to sell on Harry Redknapp. The long lost Italian cousin who appears back in England now and again with expensive designer suits and coats Jose Mourinho non football - the very annoying younger brother who thinks he's very funny Jonathan Woss Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ruh Buh Juh Posted January 16, 2010 Share Posted January 16, 2010 The Grandfather that just can't get anything right, no matter how hard he tries - Scolari. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PloKoon13 Posted January 16, 2010 Share Posted January 16, 2010 The strange Danish cousin you occasionally see and gives painfully hard handshakes and hugs. He also drinks like a fish - Peter Schmeichel The fly new boyfriend of your mother's who you're not really comfortable with - Roberto Mancini Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gem Posted January 16, 2010 Author Share Posted January 16, 2010 The fly new boyfriend of your mother's who you're not really comfortable with - Roberto Mancini :) Brilliant Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mad_mac Posted January 16, 2010 Share Posted January 16, 2010 (edited) "The other fitter Auntie who you look forward to baby-sitting you and then when you turn that bit older, becomes the subject of your teenage w**k-fest - Karen Brady." Can't say I ever had an aunty like that, but f-ing hell that made me laugh Edited January 16, 2010 by mad_mac Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mad_mac Posted January 16, 2010 Share Posted January 16, 2010 The cheeky uncle who always has a reddish hue about them as if they are constantly pissed, often found at parties, has a fit wife, but is usually off trying to shag anything else at the same party.... Ally McCoist Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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