The "good Chelsea relations" thread has made me think, which Premier League player/manager would be each family member?

The smelly scum bag who doesn't work and gives it all the time (with anything to back it up) - Jamie Carragher

The old granddad who constantly piss (literally) and moans and has arguments to himself - Alex Ferguson

The uncle you remember taking a shower with, and at the time it was okay... but now you're not so sure -Arsene Wenger

The baby - Robinho

The one who's slightly crazy, but you love him (although you don't admit it) - Stephen Ireland

The long lost relative who goes missing months on end then shows up and makes it all about him - Steven Gerrard.

The one you hope is adopted coz of the ugly gene - Wayne Rooney

The one you hope is adopted coz he's just so damn FINE - Frank Lampard

The boring one who no one remembers how they're related to him - Tony Hibbert

Any more?

PS- Loz/Mod, move this if you think it's better off somewhere else ;)

The pervy old Uncle....Avram Grant

The older cousin you call when you're having a bit of trouble with some cvnt - Essien

The naughty child - Darren Fletcher

The butlers - Harry Redknapp and Rafael Benitez

The spoilt teenager - Wayne Rooney

A nice topic to start Gem. I am going to be here whenever I get bored. ;)

Might I mention the neighbors.

The Voyeur - You know who

The one who always starts a handbag slapfest - Darren Fletcher.

The one who you try to convince to come out to the rest of the family - Fernando Torres.

The dog - Dirk Kuyt.

Your sister's latest boyfriend who invites you all over to his house just so he can show off his new decking - Phil Brown

The uncle who is always just that little bit over familiar, seems harmless enough if a bit pleased with himself, and smiles all the time as he's talking - Graham Taylor

Your second cousin, the one who had the sex change - Mark Lawrenson

The little gobby bloke who always kicks it off in the boozer but is nowhere to be seen when the fists start being thrown.................... Steven Hunt

That mental kid at school with mad eyes and no friends, who eventually gets expelled for stabbing the Maths teacher with a compass.................. Roy Keane

The eccentric 7.5 stone man you see walking around the town centre smiling broadly and talking intelligibly to strangers before patting them on the back and walking on - Claudio Ranieri

The bloke in oversized clothing flogging fags in a night club even though he has a well paid job in advertising - Harry Redknapp

The big brother you look to for inspiration until he comes home in tears because Debbie McGrew gave him a wedgie - Didier Drogba

The little gobby bloke who always kicks it off in the boozer but is nowhere to be seen when the fists start being thrown.................... Steven Hunt

...or Craig Bellamy

That slapper of a cousin you see at family weddings who puts her make-up on with a trowel and thinks showing you her Burberry thong is classy.............. Katie Price

Since we are moving beyond football....

The cousin who tells a joke and feels the need to put on a stupid smirk to convince you an unfunny joke was actually funny - Jimmy Carr

the distant uncle who is doing well for himself. But looks down on everybody.....Simon Cowell

Back to football...

The old father who just doesn't understand the youth of today - Graham Taylor

The highly strung nutcase older brother - Martin O'Neill

The totally mental triplets - Joey Barton, Lee Bowyer & Craig Bellamy

The slutty tart sister who wears far too much make-up - Ronaldo

The pushy younger sister - Fernando Torres

The useless uncle, unable to get anything right - Rafa Benitez

The Uncle who spends a lot of time driving slowly by the kerbside - David Pleat

The Auntie who at family gatherings always ending up having one too many sherrys and then starts getting embarrassing - Delia Smith.

The other fitter Auntie who you look forward to baby-sitting you and then when you turn that bit older, becomes the subject of your teenage w**k-fest - Karen Brady.

the strange looking uncle who you smile and nod to but cant make out a word ..Tony Mowbray the whole gypsie camp about two miles from me ..Parkhead or celtic park

The good for nothing cousin you wish you were never related to - Kalou

the wide boy uncle who sells second hand cars or whatever he can buy cheap to sell on Harry Redknapp.

The long lost Italian cousin who appears back in England now and again with expensive designer suits and coats Jose Mourinho

non football - the very annoying younger brother who thinks he's very funny Jonathan Woss

The Grandfather that just can't get anything right, no matter how hard he tries - Scolari.

The strange Danish cousin you occasionally see and gives painfully hard handshakes and hugs. He also drinks like a fish - Peter Schmeichel

The fly new boyfriend of your mother's who you're not really comfortable with - Roberto Mancini

The fly new boyfriend of your mother's who you're not really comfortable with - Roberto Mancini

:) Brilliant

"The other fitter Auntie who you look forward to baby-sitting you and then when you turn that bit older, becomes the subject of your teenage w**k-fest - Karen Brady."

Can't say I ever had an aunty like that, but f-ing hell that made me laugh

Edited January 16, 201016 yr by mad_mac

The cheeky uncle who always has a reddish hue about them as if they are constantly pissed, often found at parties, has a fit wife, but is usually off trying to shag anything else at the same party.... Ally McCoist