Everything posted by I am a CPA
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Christopher Nkunku to Chelsea
Disaster. He's one of our best players and being a team that struggled for goals badly last season this was the last injury we needed. I was counting down the minutes until the season started but now I'm just gutted. Pay another 10m and bring Felix on loan for the season.
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Moises Caicedo to Chelsea! "Official"
Caicedo is 4x the player Gallagher is..
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Chelsea 23/24 Season Friendlies Match Thread
Craig Burley is such a negative tw*t
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Where will we finish in the league 23/24 ?
The doom and gloom is insane. Even if the season starts now we have a quality team. James, Chilwell, Silva, Colwill, Badiashile, Enzo, Santos, Nkunku, Jackson, Mudryk and Madueke - Coached by an elite coach in Pochettino, 4th is firmly in sight. You're telling me there's 10 teams in the league that are better than that? Crazy.
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Gabriel Slonina
Just don't make the plethora of braindead mistakes the previous regime did by sending him to a team in a sunny capital like Madrid.
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Chelsea 23/24 Season Friendlies Match Thread
Cucurella is such a bad player it's not even funny. Imagine even thinking of selling Maatsen for this bum of a player.
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We've got a new Kepa
Been saying it for ages and have said it plenty of times in this thread. We need a better goalkeeper THIS summer. If you want to be an elite team, you need an elite keeper. Kepa ain't it and we need to get rid of him asap.
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Raheem Sterling signs for Chelsea
Yep, he's not a young 28 year old. Fabregas is another good example. Premier League is brutal and will catch up to you. If Modric stayed at Spurs he would've been done at 33.
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Marc Cucurella
Keeping Cucumber and selling Maatsen would be an international war crime.
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So Lukaku is a bit of a Bawbag...
Inter have withdrawn their offer for Lukaku because of his negotiations with Juve.
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We've got a new Kepa
And Kepa gives up 10+ goals per season due to howlers and his t-rex arms. We need a keeper for 2-3 years until Slonina is ready.
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We've got a new Kepa
A crazy take - I would take De Gea for a couple years until Slonina is ready. Get rid of Kepa asap - horrendous goalkeeper.
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Reece James
Lucky we have a capable back up now in Gusto. James is our best player but he's made of glass.
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Levi Colwill
If Colwill doesn't want to be here, that's fine, just sell him off quickly and get Gvardiol before City wrap that up. Doubt the timeline will align but I would take Gvardiol over Colwill anyday.
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So Lukaku is a bit of a Bawbag...
An absolute cretin. I wouldn't even let him in Cobham. We're building something new and this f*cker should be the last person to derail our season (again).
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Andrey Santos Signs for Chelsea
Would Caicedo even have youtube videos? And look how he turned out.
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BlueCo buy Chelsea FC
Can't wait for the new season to start. Everything seems more fresh and exciting this season. All the deadwood are leaving (we've needed a big clear out for years) which helps with the finances as well, a top coach, great young players with some elite talent sprinkled in, a smaller tightknit squad, fresh new kits (the previous season's kit just gives me PTSD) and the league will probably be at the strongest we've ever seen it. Don't be surprised if we make top 4 easily and win a domestic cup. This team we're building is going places. Clearlake made big mistakes in their first year but have rectified some of these and have learnt from them. Very exciting times ahead.
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Conor Gallagher
You're next Conor mate. That 40m capital gain is too good to turn down.
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Kalidou Koulibaly
I've always said (not here) that he'll probably join Juventus. Serie A, one of the teams that can afford him and they badly need a CB.
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Who do you want to be the next manager? (2nd Poll)
Joined halfway through the season when the one and only Tuchel left them in 3rd, and then won the league comfortably the following season.
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Who do you want to be the next manager? (2nd Poll)
My first choice was Flick. But out of the options left, and even if Nagelsmann was still in the mix, Pochettino.
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Who do you want next as manager?
I like the Bundesliga but Premier League is a different animal. Especially when you're coaching the 1 team in a 1 team league.
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Who needs to go and who needs to stay?
Goalkeepers Kepa - Sell Mendy - Sell Defenders Fofana - Keep Badiashile - Keep Koulibaly - Sell Chalobah - Keep Silva - Keep Cucurella - Sell Chilwell - Keep Hall - Keep Maatsen - Keep James - Keep Azpi - Sell Midfielders Enzo - Keep Kante - Keep Zakaria - Don't buy Kovacic - Sell Gallagher - Sell RLC - Keep Chukwuemeka - Keep Mount - Undecided Forwards Havertz - Sell Mudryk - Keep Sterling - Sell Pulisic - Sell Madueke - Keep Ziyech - Sell Felix - Don't buy Broja - Stay Fofana - Stay Aubameyang - Sell Lukaku - Don't keep at any cost That's 12/13 players that need to be sold. Bring in 1 world class GK, a decent midfielder and a world class striker, and we'll be set for many years. It's going to be a long summer.
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We've got a new Kepa
Absolute trash keeper. We need a new GK as much as we need a striker.
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Wolves v Chelsea (PL) Sat 8th Apr 2023 15:00 GMT
Add that goal to the huge list of screamers that Kepa has conceded. Horrendous keeper, whoever decided he was worth 70m and a 7 year contract should be trialled in court.