Kalou is a bit rubbish..

And Malouda is far to greedy and can be very lazy sometimes..

We need a winger on the right..please.

Edited July 31, 201114 yr by guddy69

We need a winger on the right..please.

Eden Hazard please!

Eden Hazard please!

add my + 1 to that.

maybe a cheeky bid for Juan Mata, to at least out price Arsenal & Spurs.

I think you're a bit sexy.

Thanks Gem, I would have thought you could have said it via PM though.

Can you also please maintain the AVB Owl Stance for the EPL Season.

And also can you please get rid of Malouda as i used to like him but now he just seems hellbent on f**king up Fernando's Life.

Seriously, When has he ever passed to him except accidentally against Villa, When Nando slotted it home.

If your hair really is Ginger can you keep it a secret...

Edited August 1, 201114 yr by guddy69

Can we keep Alex please, I know he is getting on a bit but he loves it at Chelsea..

The Owl stance? Is it really an owl stance? I like the name but I need to see a comparison photo to confirm that it is in fact an owl stance.

Please, Mr. Villas-Boas, sell Anelka and Malouda.

sign creative midfielder and Mata.

Anelka can stay, but Kalou and Malouda must go.

I'd prefer a couple from:

De Bruyne

Adam Johnson

Juan Mata

Arjen Robben

as their replacements.

Dear AVB

We have enough stikers, please get Frankie some help in the middle someone that can tackle properly and with gusto.

ps. Love the sideline squat.

pps. Kalou should go.

See the 'sideline squat' is not a bad name for it either. Bit effeminate but it could work.

crouching ginger, hidden winger

Dear Sir

Can you please give Josh and Sturridge a fair share of first team starts even if we sign Modric/new winger etc?

Also, please dont fall in the Kalouve trap!

- A big fan

Alex is only 29, probably in his prime.

Any way, ship malouda out, i have the engine ready with a full tank of petrol, just tell me where to drop him, no location to far for this job

You might want to consider cloning Dan Petrescu.

Don't forget to give Anelka and Malouda a kick up the backside every two weeks or so. And maybe Torres too..

Or forget to floss after brushing.

If you need a linguist to help all these beautiful young foreign men express themselves better, I'm your man - well, woman, actually! And I have my right-hand woman Val who can be trusted to give her all - especially to Italians, it should be said.

AVB,

Any or all of the following would be great;

1. Josh gets a starting place in the first team (if 3 below is not possible)

2. Studge gets one too (you are coach, find a position for him. clue its not wide on the right)

3. Modric becomes Nando's playmaker

4. Along with everyone else, I would be very grateful if you sell Kalou, Ferreira, Malouda, Turnbull ASAP

5. Keep Anelka (too clever to let go to a Spuds, Arse etc)

7. I'd still prefer to win the BPL than the ECL

8. Find a role (somewhere, striker coach possibly ?? for our Lord God Zola)

9. Never let Gourlay put red on our kit again

10. Better still do to Gourlay what Jose did to his immedaite boss at Real Madrid

I like that you watch the game from a squatting position, all thebother managers wouldn't be able to get back up if they got that low :)