Now I'm a vacuous moron so clearly I have nothing better to do than make up asinine rumours about Chelsea signing sh*t footballers.

 

The latest incarnation of this tired joke is... erm... let me think... Jozy Altidore.

 

He's American, so clearly he'll offer us some overseas shirt-selling quality, and also he's massive, which probably means he's good in the air and can hold the ball up. Oh before I forget, he's black, so that probably means he's fast.

 

Am I losing my mind or this the quality of post we can come to expect from our dear forum in the immediate future?

An altidore/Adu front 2 is the dream, a perfect combination that will win us all the trophies.

Now I'm a vacuous moron so clearly I have nothing better to do than make up asinine rumours about Chelsea signing sh*t footballers.

 

The latest incarnation of this tired joke is... erm... let me think... Jozy Altidore.

 

He's American, so clearly he'll offer us some overseas shirt-selling quality, and also he's massive, which probably means he's good in the air and can hold the ball up. Oh before I forget, he's black, so that probably means he's fast.

 

Am I losing my mind or this the quality of post we can come to expect from our dear forum in the immediate future?

Mind...lost. ;-)

I'm thinking about songs about him already.

splishsplosh, is that you?!

He did score against us once, which is more than you can say about Messi.

Altidore is exactly what we need. Currently the front line consists of:

 

Costa (okay when not suspended or injured), Traore (okay when picked), Falcao (chortle), Pato (chortle) and Remy (chortle).

 

Hardly inspiring.

 

Next season after we are forced to sell Costa and offload a lot of the team, it leaves Traore as our only option up front. 

 

Therefore, purchasing Carroll and Altidore would make a great powerful front 2. The only problem with this is trying to tempt them to come to Chelsea. 

Amazing first touch, woeful second

I'm thinking about songs about him already.

 

Are u sure it is not this one ?

Someone should start a rumour about Willy Caballero, at the same level as the latest posts in rumorology.

Get Joey Barton for a swansong, he always said he was better than lamps and Stevie Me, come and prove it, we will love you, honest

As an American  who has watched Jozy for many years I say hell no. He is good but not great and that's what we need . . . . Great players. 

hes playing in the mls for a reason ....didnt he score 1 goal in 40 games for sunderland??

Probably the most ineffectual fraud of a striker i have seen for years...

Probably the most ineffectual fraud of a striker i have seen for years...

Aside from the three we have on our books?

Yea but they are proven quality (once upon a day), he is just proven carthorse sh*t..