So far our worst season in recent years has been 10th in 2015/16, with 50 points. Will we do better than that, or worse?

 

Will be interesting to see who's correct after 38 games

Thank god I was starting to get poll withdrawals. 

coco the clown 🤡

48 minutes ago, Mod said:

coco the clown 🤡

So that is what @cocolooks like, I always wondered!

Thanks @Mod

I think 10th above Fulham.

Am afraid to tell you all that the script has already been written, and it is not pretty...

We go in to the final day believing we are safe, some near impossible things must happen for us not to be, and that this awful season is finally coming to a close.

After all we have been through just Newcastle at home are left, and we are on manager number 5 (yes 5) for the season. Big Sam is out of retirement and has James Cordon by his side under one simple instruction, save us and Big Sam gets a big fat cheque. Project good vibes was abandoned after we lost game 37 at dethroned champions Man City, having been stuffed by Real Madrid the month prior.

 

It all starts so well, a classic big Sam corner routine from a long ball forward results in Big Marc Cucurella powering home a header. Marc is enjoying his new role as CF, looking more clinical than Kai already, and his bonnet is regularly helping him beat the toon defenders in the air. Only some cracking saves by Pope deny Marc a first half hattrick.

The toon don't have anything to play for, putting in a poor first half display, 4th place is safe, cannot go up to third, they are enjoying their day out, signing autographs for the fans while Havertz goes through on goal only to trip over the ball, and Felix manages to followup with a strike that rebounds off the wood work 10 times before smacking big Sam in the gut. Poor Sam is helped down the tunnel and never seen again. Over to you manager James C!

The toon army demands more effort against their departed former manager, and that sees Papis Cisse introduced from the bench, and he hits a wonder volley from his own half that comes down with ice on it before beating Kepa from second half kick off.

1-1, the other key game at 2-2. What a first half there!

 

93 minutes gone and we think we score and celebrate like we won the league, Cordon has the sofa pulled out with Todd and Company coming to take a seat, only...what is this...a VAR check? Why?! Ah they find Werner had strayed offside in the game last season and disallow our goal. As we still protest Cisse is at it again, only this effort is so outrageous it reaches all the way to Spain and beats Tibo! 1-2 and the ref blows up.

We wait nervously, the other game got more stoppage time as Klopps shiny teeth had caused multiple seizures in the crowd. The ref blows up! 

 

Safety!......

 

.....but wait it is not full time! it is for a free kick against Henderson for spitting! Up steps James Ward-Prowse....

 

 

........3-2

 

 

.....18th place...

 

...Todd leans over and says to the Eggman "let's use our drafts pick to get that Cisse bloke and James Ward-Prowse!"

 

Edited April 10, 20233 yr by axman2526

On 10/04/2023 at 02:10, axman2526 said:

Am afraid to tell you all that the script has already been written, and it is not pretty...

We go in to the final day believing we are safe, some near impossible things must happen for us not to be, and that this awful season is finally coming to a close.

After all we have been through just Newcastle at home are left, and we are on manager number 5 (yes 5) for the season. Big Sam is out of retirement and has James Cordon by his side under one simple instruction, save us and Big Sam gets a big fat cheque. Project good vibes was abandoned after we lost game 37 at dethroned champions Man City, having been stuffed by Real Madrid the month prior.

 

It all starts so well, a classic big Sam corner routine from a long ball forward results in Big Marc Cucurella powering home a header. Marc is enjoying his new role as CF, looking more clinical than Kai already, and his bonnet is regularly helping him beat the toon defenders in the air. Only some cracking saves by Pope deny Marc a first half hattrick.

The toon don't have anything to play for, putting in a poor first half display, 4th place is safe, cannot go up to third, they are enjoying their day out, signing autographs for the fans while Havertz goes through on goal only to trip over the ball, and Felix manages to followup with a strike that rebounds off the wood work 10 times before smacking big Sam in the gut. Poor Sam is helped down the tunnel and never seen again. Over to you manager James C!

The toon army demands more effort against their departed former manager, and that sees Papis Cisse introduced from the bench, and he hits a wonder volley from his own half that comes down with ice on it before beating Kepa from second half kick off.

1-1, the other key game at 2-2. What a first half there!

 

93 minutes gone and we think we score and celebrate like we won the league, Cordon has the sofa pulled out with Todd and Company coming to take a seat, only...what is this...a VAR check? Why?! Ah they find Werner had strayed offside in the game last season and disallow our goal. As we still protest Cisse is at it again, only this effort is so outrageous it reaches all the way to Spain and beats Tibo! 1-2 and the ref blows up.

We wait nervously, the other game got more stoppage time as Klopps shiny teeth had caused multiple seizures in the crowd. The ref blows up! 

 

Safety!......

 

.....but wait it is not full time! it is for a free kick against Henderson for spitting! Up steps James Ward-Prowse....

 

 

........3-2

 

 

.....18th place...

 

...Todd leans over and says to the Eggman "let's use our drafts pick to get that Cisse bloke and James Ward-Prowse!"

 

 

Is this how you envisioned it? 😂

2 minutes ago, Drogba1 said:

 

Is this how you envisioned it? 😂

Nah Southampton stayed up, I know it was a long post but come on Drogs it is a good laugh!

Well not for Munk if it actually happened he would have kittens...

Well, negative integers exist... as do imaginary numbers... 🤯🤯🤯

Surprised that 10th was the top result on this poll 😂

We can't get relegated surely? Well we can but surely that won't happen? The lack of goals we score is absolutely criminal.

15th at this rate.

2 hours ago, KonaKai Blue said:

We can't get relegated surely? Well we can but surely that won't happen? The lack of goals we score is absolutely criminal.

Mathematically it is possible. However if you look at the teams in the bottom 5 it seems unlikely that 3rd bottom team will make 39 points. Southampton would have to win 5 of their last 6 just to get to 39 points and they have a vastly inferior GD. Then there is Everton, Leicester, Forest, and Leeds. Everton would need 4 wins from 6 to go above us, and have a tough run in.  Leicester, Forest, and Leeds would all have to win at least 3 of their last 5 just to make 39 points. I would say Leicester are the most likely to manage that on current form. One of their games is against Everton though which is a 6 pointer. It would be nervy for sure, but I think our current point tally would be just about enough to stay up this season. That being said if we could lose our remaining 6 games it would be utterly disgraceful and we would deserve to go down.

Our position will be bent over with the rest of the league and our new owners f ...🤐........well I'll leave the last bit for you to work out. DOH!!!

7 hours ago, KonaKai Blue said:

We can't get relegated surely? Well we can but surely that won't happen? The lack of goals we score is absolutely criminal.

Very unlikely but mathematically possible. The bigger worry is next year if we make the wrong decisions in the closed season.

9 hours ago, charierre said:

Very unlikely but mathematically possible. The bigger worry is next year if we make the wrong decisions in the closed season.

Plus the possible points deduction for breaking PL FFP rules.

16 hours ago, KonaKai Blue said:

We can't get relegated surely? Well we can but surely that won't happen? The lack of goals we score is absolutely criminal.

Forgot what tweet I read it from but its borderline impossible for us to get relegated. Bottom 3 would have to win every game and us lose every game so 99.9% probability of that occurring. 

Best chance for you to get some points was against a rather fatigued Brentford. I could see you losing the rest of the games now and I'm saying that out of honesty, not to feck around. Maybe something against Nottingham but they have a lot to play for and has produced good results against good teams (might not matter though) this season.

You are definitely not getting relegated but falling behind Palace, Wolves and maybe West Ham seems quite likely.

I'll go with 13th.

We might draw a couple perhaps Arsenal and Forest.

Defeats for the bottom two tonight, 

Southampton need to win their last 5 games now to match our current 39 points. Everton would need 11 points out of the 15 still available to them, and they have a big six pointer up next against third from bottom Leicester.

I don't think we can drop any lower than 15th at this stage ... most likely finish 14th.

 

Edited April 27, 20233 yr by Sexyfootball

Just now, Sexyfootball said:

Defeats for the bottom two tonight, 

Southampton need to win their last 5 games now to match our current 39 points. Everton would need 11 points out of the 15 still available to them, and they have a big six pointer up next for against third from bottom Leicester.

I don't think we can drop any lower than 15th at this stage ... most likely finish 14th.

 

Yeah Everton and Southampton won't do what is needed of them to overtake us. That means we just need one of Leeds, Forrest or Leicester to not gain the needed 9/10 points and we will be safe.

I do think we will drop behind Wolves, Palace and Bournemouth soon though.