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The Shed End Player of the Season 2011/12


loz
Eton Blue at the Chelsea Megastore

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It is time again for the annual Shed End Player of the Season analysis. For those of who you don't know or don't remember this is based entirely on the weekly MOTM awards which I dutifully maintain on a Noel Edmonds esque multicoloured spreadsheet. God bless Excel and all who sail with her.

First of all some entirely useless stats to build the tension...

Total number of games: 61

Total number of votes cast: 3,985

Average votes per game: 65

Game with most number of votes cast: CL Final (154 votes)

Game with least number of votes cast: Blackburn at home in league (26 votes)

Game where MOTM got highest number of votes: Torres against Leicester in FA Cup (99 votes)

Game where MOTM got least number of votes: Bertrand against Blackburn at home in league (7 votes)

Game where MOTM got highest % of votes: Torres against Leicester in FA Cup (96%)

Game where MOTM got least % of votes: Malouda against Liverpool at home in league (22%)

OK enough of that.

The player of the season is given to the player who got the most MOTM votes rather than the most votes overall. Brace yourself Just! Fernando-Torres-5.jpg

1. Torres - 9

2. Mata - 8

3. Cech - 7

4. Luiz - 6

5. Ramires - 5

Making Fernando Torres the 2011/12 Shed End Player of the Season

Further analysis makes for moderately interesting reading.

Champions League Analysis

We played 13 CL games in the year.

1. Cech - 3 (Valencia Away, Barcelona Away and the Final)

2. Drogba - 2 (Valencia and Napoli both at home)

2. Mata - 2 (Bayer Leverkusen at home and Napoli away)

The other six were shared around 6 different players.

Top 6 Games

In the games against the other 5 teams that finished in the top 6 the MOTM awards were very much shared around. Terry and Mata got 2 each and the other 6 were shared around 6 players.

Defenders

Luiz was comfortably ahead of the rest with 6 awards. After that it was very even with Terry, Ivan, Cahill and Bertrand all getting 3 awards. Ashley Cole only got 1 which is a tad harsh!

Midfielders

I have classified Mata as a midfielder and he was head and shoulders above the rest with 8. Ramires got 5 and third place actually went to Romeu who got 3. Poor Mikel got none!

Strikers

Torres obviously won with his 9. Drogba got 3 and Sturridge 2.

It just goes to show that basing it on MOTM awards is a tad 'iffy' as even Fernando's mum would struggle to votes him as our player of the season (although Just did point out he played 6 good passes and had a nice shuffle once).

If you based it on total number of votes surely it would give a more accurate picture... err well actually

1. Torres - 614

2. Mata - 487

3. Ramires - 367

So even if you discounted Torres's whopping 99 votes in one game he would still have the most number of votes.

So the final score is Torres Taliban 1 Just 0!

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"Hey Nando, we've got good news, you've won the Shed End Player of the Year poll."

"Shut up."

"No, no no seriously, you've won it mate, you're the winner."

"F**k off. Tell Just I've had it with his jokes. And you can f**k off as well, DB."

"Nando, Niño, Norbert, whatever your name is, you're the winner, the Shed End had a poll and you won. What more do you want me to tell you?"

"I want you to tell me where you live, so I can send the boys round."

"Niño, there's no need to be like that, we love you, we think you're the dog's bollocks, look, you won! You beat Drogba you beat Lampard you beat Cech. You beat Mata .."

"I'll give you Mata in a minute. I'll give you a f**king .."

"Niño, Niño, you won! You're the winner! Have you anything to say to the Shed End? Is there anything you'd like to say?"

"I won?"

"You won!"

"This isn't a joke?"

"No joke."

"Are you serious?"

"I'm serious! When are you going to get it into your thick skull, YOU'VE WON!!!"

"Well, in that case, yes there is a few words I'd like to say .."

"Go on then, we're all waiting."

"Dear Shed End .."

"Yes .. ?"

"Thank you so much for this award .. "

"Yes .. ?"

"I'm truly speechless."

"So are we Nando, so are we."

"I don't know what more to say."

"Say something Nando, for god's sake."

"I can't believe I've got this award .."

"You're not the only one."

"Words can't express what I feel right now. Seriously, I'm stunned."

"You and me both Nando. You and me both."

"I would just like to thank my mother .."

"Bluehatter."

"What?"

"Thank Bluehatter. Your mum had f**k all to do with this."

"Bluehatter is my mum."

"Oh, sorry."

"I'd like to thank the Torres Taliban, from the bottom of my heart. What a beautiful bunch of guys you lot are. When I was sh*t you said I was great. And when I was sh*t, you said I was great. This award belongs to you as much as me, and may I suggest, you all go to Specsavers. They have a special promotion on. In fact, I'm thinking of going there myself. I might score a few goals."

"Beautiful mate. Beautiful. And here, to present the award, your old mate, Florent Malouda."

"Hello everyone .."

"Hello Florent."

"Can I just say .. "

"No you can't Florent."

"I just want to say a few words .."

"No-one gives a sh*t, Florent. Just give Nando the award."

"What?"

"Pass it to him."

"Pass to him?"

"Yes."

"Pass to him?"

"Yes."

"What is this? I have never heard of such a concept."

"You know, you pass to him."

"No, I'm sorry. You've lost me."

"Here, give me the award, there you are Nando. Your very own ball with the words "just bang it in the f**king net" inscribed on it."

"Thank you. Thank you."

"You're welcome Nando."

"I hope to repeat my performances this season next season."

"No you don't Nando. Believe me, you don't."

"Just my little joke."

"I'll do the jokes. Thank you."

"Bye. I love you all. Especially you Bluehatter. Kiss kiss."

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Cant remember myself voting that many times for Torres, usually went for cech or any of the defenders.

People getting upset as he wins a price on our forums are hilarious though.

You have a bad memory.

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It sounds ridiculous, but i think we're being clouded by the last few months of the season. Prior to that, 90% of the team was absolute garbage in pretty much every game, and Torres was genreally just the best of a bad bunch, not that he was particularly great. That's what won it for him.

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Brilliant. I rest my case. I can retire now.

Does Bluehatter get to except the award on behalf of you know who?

PS: does this mean we could get our 50 million back?

I hope so. What an honour it would be! I would say a few more words but I am overwhelmed right now!

Thankyou you shed end!

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It is time again for the annual Shed End Player of the Season analysis. For those of who you don't know or don't remember this is based entirely on the weekly MOTM awards which I dutifully maintain on a Noel Edmonds esque multicoloured spreadsheet. God bless Excel and all who sail with her.

First of all some entirely useless stats to build the tension...

Total number of games: 61

Total number of votes cast: 3,985

Average votes per game: 65

Game with most number of votes cast: CL Final (154 votes)

Game with least number of votes cast: Blackburn at home in league (26 votes)

Game where MOTM got highest number of votes: Torres against Leicester in FA Cup (99 votes)

Game where MOTM got least number of votes: Bertrand against Blackburn at home in league (7 votes)

Game where MOTM got highest % of votes: Torres against Leicester in FA Cup (96%)

Game where MOTM got least % of votes: Malouda against Liverpool at home in league (22%)

OK enough of that.

The player of the season is given to the player who got the most MOTM votes rather than the most votes overall. Brace yourself Just! <ahttp://www.fcchelsea...do-Torres-5.jpg style="padding: 10px; bborder: 0">

1. Torres - 9

2. Mata - 8

3. Cech - 7

4. Luiz - 6

5. Ramires - 5

Making Fernando Torres the 2011/12 Shed End Player of the Season

Further analysis makes for moderately interesting reading.

Champions League Analysis

We played 13 CL games in the year.

1. Cech - 3 (Valencia Away, Barcelona Away and the Final)

2. Drogba - 2 (Valencia and Napoli both at home)

2. Mata - 2 (Bayer Leverkusen at home and Napoli away)

The other six were shared around 6 different players.

Top 6 Games

In the games against the other 5 teams that finished in the top 6 the MOTM awards were very much shared around. Terry and Mata got 2 each and the other 6 were shared around 6 players.

Defenders

Luiz was comfortably ahead of the rest with 6 awards. After that it was very even with Terry, Ivan, Cahill and Bertrand all getting 3 awards. Ashley Cole only got 1 which is a tad harsh!

Midfielders

I have classified Mata as a midfielder and he was head and shoulders above the rest with 8. Ramires got 5 and third place actually went to Romeu who got 3. Poor Mikel got none!

Strikers

Torres obviously won with his 9. Drogba got 3 and Sturridge 2.

It just goes to show that basing it on MOTM awards is a tad 'iffy' as even Fernando's mum would struggle to votes him as our player of the season (although Just did point out he played 6 good passes and had a nice shuffle once).

If you based it on total number of votes surely it would give a more accurate picture... err well actually

1. Torres - 614

2. Mata - 487

3. Ramires - 367

So even if you discounted Torres's whopping 99 votes in one game he would still have the most number of votes.

So the final score is Torres Taliban 1 Just 0!

Wouldn't say final score! We still have next season where battle resumes!

Bad luck just but I'm sure your train hard pre season and come back stronger next season.

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I'm not doing this again next season Bluehatter.

I've just had a look in the match thread and Torres has already got 12 votes for the game against Wigan on 18th August.

Admitting defeat? I expected better from you!

Those 12 votes have all come from family members of mine. Wait till the "tt" get the memo!

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To get another perspective, Torres was the highest-rated player (and thus de facto MOTM) in only 2 games according to the WhoScored ratings system: vs Genk and QPR.

To compare, Lampard was the best player in 10 games.

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It sounds ridiculous, but i think we're being clouded by the last few months of the season. Prior to that, 90% of the team was absolute garbage in pretty much every game, and Torres was genreally just the best of a bad bunch, not that he was particularly great. That's what won it for him.

none of us are clouded...torres not scoring for five months was one of the reasons why we were so poor!! there was a reason why mata won the official award and that's because he was consistently our best player, even when we were sh*t...

As much as I want torres to succeed and he wasn't all bad last season, I think many of the people who voted for him are so desperate for him to do well, they are easier to please when he does ok than some other members of the team

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Why not somehow manipulate the votes and make Flo Mo win this...

I mean since we looking for someone who played sh*t all season.

"The award goes to Florent Malouda, our one season wonder man. Big-ups to you man?!. May we put our hands together for him?".

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