First 19 taken from the Mourinho thread - anyone want to try and get to 100?

 

1. He won't wear a red tie for his first game in charge.

2. He won't have a goatee or a Cerveza belly.

3. He won't start with Nando Torres up front. 

4. He won't bring on Yossi Benayoun.......................... ever.

5. If we are 0-1 down he won't wait til the 76th minute to bring on his first sub.

6. His first sub won't be a right back for a right back.

7. He will NEVER say cloob

8. Or Tiki tacs

9. He wont leave J.T on the bench just because he can

10. He wont sing anti Chelsea songs with Steeeeevie Geeee

11. He wont eat all the pies at half time.

12. He won't have a Bolo Zenden....... whatever that is.

13. He won't leave sweet wrappers all around the training ground. 

14. He won't lose at home to QPHa

15. He won't tolerate cannibalism.

16. He won't wave at the Kop. 

17. He will take responsibility for failure.

18. He won't say our fans lack passion.

19. He won't slap other managers in the face every time he meets them

20. He won't say facht

Edited June 7, 201313 yr by Gem

21. He will actually fit into the club suit

22. The canteen's operating costs will mysteriously drop 30%

Edited June 7, 201313 yr by PloKoon13

23. He won't try to win 'troffies' but 'trophies' instead

24. He is not Rafael Benitez.

 

(Okay, that was an easy one)

25. He won't eat a baby.

26. He's The Special One, not The Interim One.

27.We wont lose a home league game ever

Edited June 7, 201313 yr by jack_super_class

28. He is "one of us"

29. The Players will know what he wants from them and not making strange gestures on the sidelines pretending that he knows what he is doing and calling it "tactics".

Edited June 7, 201313 yr by Luckydevil

30. When he says "we" and "us", he means Chelsea, not Liverpool.

31. He wont pick a team that gives the opposition (like Southampton, QPha, Reading) a glimmer of a chance at nicking the points.

32. He won't have seconds.

33. He won't come back.

34. He'll celebrate goals (with the occasional knee slide where appropriate).

He didn't prove that he is a joke of a manager at Inter.

Jose will hear the fans chanting unlike old deaf bol&&ks

37. He won't be taking the place of a club hero who was unjustly sacked.

38  I can look at a picture and hear an interview with the Chelsea manager without wanting to smack him in the face

p.s. 100?  that is going to be so easy!

I've been at the Stella all day and would like to say one thing. RAFA IS A c**t.

39. He won't spend 80 out of every 90 minutes scribbling in his bloody notebook.

40  Ah ok, I'll state the bleeding obvious - I'm sure no-one can guess what I'm going to say - HE'S BLOODY GORGEOUS!!!

41. No need for a steel seat in.the dugout anymore.

42. We won't see any more of Rafa's 'I've just had a really satisfying poo' weird smile thing.