I am here to tell you that, from a trusted friend of mine inside Chelsea, has informed me of 4 different names that are, either far down the pipeline, or just awaiting the summer for confirmation. One of these will be the new boss.

As I do not want any deal to be compromised by it being leaked, I can't just say the names out on a public, online forum such as this. So I have too give them in clues. So...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XfuBREMXxts

Grease - Cronaldo

Monkees - Bale

Eminem (M&M) - Mario Mandzukic

Roberto - Mancini (uh oh)

 

 

As if

Most Roman Emperors did not have a long life expectancy!

Bullsh*t! 

Bullsh*t! 

 

 

So much more succinct!  

You signed up to tell us we're going to sign 3 players and a manager? And you think that by us knowing those deals won't go ahead?

 

Please, tell me more.

If You don't want to divulge such a big secret, why give it the big un, just keep quiet about it, or is it the interest you want..

What is that smell? Has a dog come into the room? A cat? No? Oh it must be bullsh*t then!

bollocks

No he's right. And to finance that lot, we'll sell Hazard, Oscar and Mata to the highest bidder.

 

Oh look. There goes another flying pig.

Thanks for the clues fool, i've managed to work out precisely the identities of the four people and i'm sending their names to every paper in the country as we speak, expect all the deals to be scuppered by the time you sit down to your prawn sandwich tomorrow noon.

We're signing John Travolta? 

I think he's right and the song links are the ones each will have to perform as part of their initiation. What a welcome new member we've been missing an insider!

What a cock, must be Ron gourlay.

People who talk about having big secrets never actually have big secrets. 

People who talk about having big secrets never actually have big secrets. 

 

 

What??? Not even STAR?????????????     

What??? Not even STAR?????????????     

 

I believe he's 0 for 5 since I started paying attention to his "inside information".

We're signing John Travolta? 

 

Olivia Newton-John is quite good up front. 

Bin Dipper

Olivia Newton-John is quite good up front. 

 

 

we definitely need more . . . physicality in our squad

 

 

eh? eh?

 

 

 

ill get my coat

Olivia Newton-John is quite good up front. 

She's not too bad at the back either

All we need is a decent gaffa, preferably Jose, and then a half decent striker coz I can see Torres goin in the summer but we can't rely on mata and hazard to score the important goals week in, week out and Ba isn't exactly a top goal scorer so an improvement up front is a must do. Then, I think we shud get consistant results next season as long as the theory is right (Jose) !!

All we need is a decent gaffa, preferably Jose, and then a half decent striker coz I can see Torres goin in the summer but we can't rely on mata and hazard to score the important goals week in, week out and Ba isn't exactly a top goal scorer so an improvement up front is a must do. Then, I think we shud get consistant results next season as long as the theory is right (Jose)

 

 

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/premier-league/top-scorers

John Travota, has the initials JT, so we are signing this defender I've heard about John Terrie, or something like that?

 

Roberto...Roberto Carlos?  I heard he was good

 

Monkeys....Davey Jones he died, right?  DJ, are his initials, they are both in music..we are signing a new DJ who is going to mash up Kalinka and Liquidator to whip us all into a frenzy before the games.  And Neil Barnett is going to run out through a paper symbol of CFC with explosions and fire, and cheerleaders, and what not?  Still struggling with the whole death tie in here, but that's exciting!

 

Eminem.  M and M, a player with initials M and M...or, a poster with the initials M and M.......Mad Mac???  Wow, thanks so much.  I promise to give Dave a good run for the RB spot.

Personally, I am guessing that the next manager is all but appointed.    

The team are playing with such confidence, that I suspect they know who their next manager is going to be.

They are playing for their next manager.