Fantastic stuff!

I love how LvG's tactical revolution just degenerated over the course of that 90 minutes.

 

By half time he'd abandoned his revolutionary 3-5-2 and gone back to Moyes's 4-2-3-1.

 

By the 60th minute he'd abandoned the passing game and brought Fellaini on for Herrera.

 

By the 70th minute they'd just resorted to Young and Nani crossing the ball for Fellaini repeatedly, classic Moyes tactics.

 

Fantastic start to the season.

Lovely start.

First time they've lost the first game since 1972.

 

Louis Van Gaal. Rewriting Man Utd history since about half past 1.

What a nice first match of the season :-)

Manchester United crowds to be banned from looking at scores

In a move designed to avoid discontent among fans and shareholders, Manchester United officials have taken the unprecedented decision to ban tablets, laptops and anything else that might bring about access to the league table from within the hallowed portals Old Trafford.

Instead, fans will be treated to calming music, pastel-shaded kits and Louis van Gaal dressed as Sir Matt Busby. The club has claimed it is merely reacting to a security threat, that 75,000 United fans may spontaneously combust if they are to go another season driving all the way from Surrey to watch the team play badly and win no silverware.

‘The problem with last year was not our inability to win, it was that the other teams created an unfair comparison,’ said Sir Bobby Charlton. ‘We just don’t need any reminding about our neighbours in blue. Your average United fan would much prefer to stay in 1999, enjoying the treble and imagining the sexually peccadilloes of George Michael and Monica Lewinsky, while listening to Celine Dion sing My Heart Will Go On.

Embracing the North Korean model of sporting denial, psychologists have suggested delusions of grandeur are preferable to the grim reality of seeing Marouane Fellaini and Tom Cleverly fall over their own shadows. To prolong the psychosis, players will be forced to wear face masks of the main contributors to United’s bygone era of success, with Robin van Persie as Eric Cantona, Michael Carrick as Bryan Robson and Wayne Rooney as Eamonn Holmes.

Tannoy announcers at Old Trafford will now only read out half-time results from the Ferguson years and everyone will be hypnotised into believing David Moyes is still at Everton. While Greater Manchester Police have said they were not involved in the ban decision, they have admitted that everyone would be safer in Manchester if they immersed themselves in Friends box sets and imagined a time before Olly Murs had declared himself a fan

It's a shame for journalists, that they can't hype Man U into being good again

Brilliant start.  Somehow managed to top Moyes.

So sad seeing mata have so little effect on games at utd. He just drifts through games unable to take control, mainly because Rooney is often in the same position.

Wow, Dier starts for Spurs. Wasn't expecting that.

None of the games on now are particularly exciting, thinking of watching QPR vs Hull, seeing QPR lose now that they have Rio will be twice as funny.

Lukaku wearing the 10 shirt for everton

Gunna watch Spurs West Ham I think, if the stream will load.

What's even funnier is that it looks like a bird shat in Ashley Young's mouth

 

vine.co/v/M37F1mB5IzB 

What's even funnier is that it looks like a bird shat in Ashley Young's mouth

 

vine.co/v/M37F1mB5IzB 

Ha I saw that, looked like spit to me. Felt sick at the same time though. 

The guys in the studio were analyzing Ki's goal, Mata totally lost him on it.

Hopefully this convinces Van Gaal that we need to sign some defenders and midfielders. 

What's even funnier is that it looks like a bird shat in Ashley Young's mouth

 

vine.co/v/M37F1mB5IzB 

 

hahahaha superb

What's the name of the pub ? i live in Cornwall, i may know the place.

It was the Brandon Arms in Bude, now I have lost my car which is not a bad thing seeing I had a few...... However the kids are expecting rock pooling this afternoon, still fine match welcome to the premier league LVG

The guys in the studio were analyzing Ki's goal, Mata totally lost him on it.

Mata was nowhere near Ki though? I think you mean Herrera. 

Also how on earth haven't West Ham scored yet, they are all over Spurs.

Also how on earth haven't West Ham scored yet, they are all over Spurs.

 

To be fair, they do have Carlton Cole up front.